Hello friends. I don’t know if you saw the news yet, but Pamela has filed for divorce. For those of you who didn’t even know that the ultimate Bay Watch Beauty and Playmate of the Year had even gotten married, well you just need to do a better job of keeping up and focusing on the important things in life!
Darling Pam was wed just 10 weeks ago to an unsavory character. His name is Rick Something, and you may remember him for his dreadful sex tape with the elegant Paris Hilton. This Rick guy was no good for my Pam, and I told her such on many occasions. I am glad to see she has finally sobered up (sometimes it take 10 weeks to sober up from a real bender!)
Now I will tell you America, what I have told Pam countless times. She belongs with Tommy. Now I have nothing against this Kid Rock fella. Shoot, he seems like a decent kind of guy. But Pam and Tommy are meant to be together and hopefully this recent snafu, will allow the light of their paths to cross once more.
This time to remain together for an eternity. It’s the story book ending Pam deserves. From a small town girl who was discovered when she showed her knockers on the jumbotron at a hockey game, to a Hollywood icon and the object of every man’s desires, to life long marriage to Tommy filled with love, wonderful passionate crazy monkey sex and a little Hepatitis C.
The end.