I admit it: The “Five Dollar Footlong” commercials are better than anything you’ll find in my body of work since I’ve been at Subway.

And no, I’m not including the new ones with the construction workers and the giggling office girls; those ones are like poop in my mouth - which is to say, while they don't totally displease me, they don't live up to my expectations either.

So, it is no great surprise that Subway has stopped calling me lately. I kind of feel like that fat kid in your dorm back in college, the one with the massive porn collection; all the guys pretended to be friends with him so they could borrow his videos, but then once they ran out of new videos to borrow, they went back to ignoring the boy. But the boy shall not forget the wrongs that were done to him. No, the boy shall remember...

I need to figure out how to get on Subway's good side again.

I need to wow them, show them a little pizazz! Got a couple ideas I've been kicking around, nothing too concrete. Like the other day, I figured out the chords to the “Five Dollar Footlong” on my Ibanez. It goes from a C major to A flat major, pretty neat progression. So maybe I could show them that? Anyone else have any ideas?