Are you a dog owner and single? Are you single in large part because no human being could ever provide the affection and understanding that your pug, poodle or pit pull can? As the holidays approach, are you scratching yourself raw agonizing over the perfect gift for the cutest little thing on four legs? Yes you are the cutest! Yes you are!
Scratch no more, socially alienating dog owner. Courtesy of the Internets and your impulse buying habits, the must-have gifts of the season are a mere paw click away.
Courtesy of a Word Hegemonic editorial and French design company FeelAddicted comes news of the Hotdoll, the blow-up buddy your perky pup so richly deserves. The Hotdoll is a godsend for those guests embarrassed by a dog’s furtive humping of their leg, as well as the passive admonishment of dog owners who are happy that their legs are being given a rest.
Guys, does it break your heart to see your good buddy so sad when you close the bedroom door for some quality time with that Jenna Jameson blow-up doll? With Hotdoll, you and your best friend can enjoy a true dogs night in. Just remember that your amorous amigo will need some help cleaning up afterwards.
But Hotdoll is not just for the lonely or perverted. Better than a groundbreaking HBO series, and less emotionally scarring than walking in on Mom and Dad, parents can use Champ’s interaction with Hotdoll as a valuable in-house teaching tool when it comes time to have The Talk with their son or daughter.
The other big to do in pet humiliation is giving your dog a new do, courtesy of 8th generation wigmaker and dog wigmaker to the stars, Ruth Regina. Regina, who considers dogs “just little people in fur coats” (like Billy Barty cutting a rug at The Sands), offers such glamorous styles as “Yappy Hour”, “Peek a Bow Wow”, and “Rover R-r-r-rug”.
There’s little that needs be said here, but I will say this much. Everyone’s seen Britney’s VMA performance, so let be a cautionary tale regarding hair extensions on any creature. As a dog owner, I can’t tell you if dogs can really laugh. Still, given the possibilities for put-upon pets and their owners stepping out with matching coiffs, I do know that there are now infinitely more laughs that my dogs and I can share.