I know, I know: I shouldn’t be quoting Ed Wood unless it’s in the context of a mea culpa for Next. Yes, I am but a simple celebrity who is merely paid millions of dollars to act in films that are mostly half-baked, mass-marketed diversions with all the intellectual heft of TMZ TV. So what do I know about geopolitics and widening cultural fissures? I don’t know my ass from Myanmar, you say.

Then I came across the following apogee of intellectual inquiry (in today’s USA Today) from a small town Marylander who opposes a new mosque/barn in his village:

I don’t know that much about Muslims, but I understand they want to take over the world and want us all dead.

I could say the same thing about bears, bacteria and vampires.

What, you didn’t catch the “Based on true events” card at the beginning of Blade? They’re real, folks, so get used to it.

Ed Wood may not have been smart, but he sure knew stupid.