I was waiting for my nails to dry at Pretty Nails in West Hollywood when I saw this thing on CNN about the parents of that little beauty pageant girl who died, and some other chick who was abducted in Aruba. Personally I never watch CNN. I’m more of an E! Entertainment kind of gal. Anyways, like these two people, the parents of each, totally got together and are now like dating or something. It’s crazy y’all. I believe in true love. I do. Even though my marriage failed, John doesn’t want me, Ken likes men, and my dad rarely calls I DO! I will find my own John Ramsey. I will be someone’s Beth Twitty! (You know instead of being someone’s big titties.) Ha ha, get it? I have huge, luscious boobs.)

I look at Ash, and she seems happier now that she got her face done and stuff. I’m so sad. I could cry. But I won’t. Because I’m journaling and this is good for me. A guy I once dated, after Nick, who is also a musician and won some Grammys, once made fun of me on a flight from NYC to Milan, because I didn’t journal. I mean is it a crime to enjoy the finer art of MadLibs?? Why is everyone so serious? Jeez. It’s all about your music, isn’t it assface?!!

Someday, I’d like to play the little beauty pageant queen in a movie. I’m getting ready for my own movie, Major Movie Star , so I guess things could be worse. But remind me to never travel to Aruba on my class trip or do pageants in Colorado.