Times are tough out there. Gas is at record prices, food prices are up over 100% and unemployment is increasing, but it's not rough on everybody. Miley Cyrus just topped the list of America's richest teens! Sadly this is having a negative trickle-down effect on you.

Last week I saw a couple in the grocery store put back a number of items of food so that they could buy an Entertainment Weekly. They traded food for the list of America's richest teens?!? Why do they care? Why are they interested?

Now Cramer likes a good list as much as anyone. I like to see where TheStreet.com is ranked in terms of financial news site for instance. But I own TheStreet.com! If I wasn't in the business I wouldn't care. So unless that starving couple was looking to see how their daughter ranked against Jamie Lynn Spears, their fascination is lost on me. (As an aside, their daughter was 56,837,372 places below Jamie Lynn.)

I guess Cramer is just old school. I don't care about what disease Paris Hilton gave to whom, or that Kim Kardashian couldn't get into Vine, or that Madonna adopted a small Indonesian village. Cramer is here to help you make money. So stop buying magazines you don't need, stop watching TMZ, and someone please kill Flav-a-Flav, and lets watch/listen/read Mad Money and figure out how to make you some money!