(in this picture: Indian-American girls, not American Indian girls)

Well, I'm in New York for a few days. Long story, but I'll tell you that I had the greatest falafel roll-up today. I don't know what was in it, but it tasted like either roasted red peppers or pimento cheese spread. One of these days, I'll get around to solving that little mystery.

But while I was waiting in line, two different girls were in front of me. They weren't together, but they looked similar. They were equally honeylicious, as Seacrest sometimes says. They were both dressed similarly, like yuppie students from wealthy families, and they looked very much alike, too. Only difference: one was American Indian, and the other was Indian-American. (I provided a couple of links in case you're behind.)

How can you tell the difference? I don't really want to be "that guy" who generalizes ethnic groups into stereotypes, but here's how:

• American Indian girls are regularly glaring at white guys. Indian-American girls are lusting after white guys.
• American Indian girls are free to date white guys, while Indian-American girls only do so out of rebellion, and to get into blues bars.

• American Indian girls tend to listen to bolder, edgier music, like Nine Inch Nails or Eminem. Indian-American girls tend to be drawn to bluesy rock, kind of like a Bruce-Springstreen-meets-Nick-Drake-meets-Jackson-Browne.
• American Indian girls go to Red Earth festivals and know traditional rain dances. And everyone knows: Indian-American girls just go to medical school.

 If you're offended, then I was only kidding.