As an American patriot, I recite the pledge of allegiance every morning, right before my breakfast of baked beans, crab apples, and shoe. You know that part near the end, “one nation, under God”? I don’t think that’s referring to Allah, or Moses, or Buddha, or L. Ron Hubbard.

Islam probably wasn’t even around when the pledge was written in 1892. Look, I don’t have anything against Muslims (unless they’re Vietnamese). But it’s common knowledge that our republic was founded on the ideals of liberty, justice, and Jesus. Ben Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, Paul Revere, and other United States Presidents were all practicing Baptists, which is what I think I am at the moment.

Of course we are a secular nation. But secularism is something you do in private, in your own home. Secularism has no place in the public sphere, or any other public three-dimensional shapes. The Constitution, which mentions God, Jesus, and Christianity about a million times [Eds. note: Never] makes this pretty clear.