Diary, I’m 33 now. I feel so ancient.

And I’m just not ready to let them start putting me in age rewind makeup ads. I’m not Christy Turlington. So I guess I’m kind of cheery that a new birth control pill wants me to be their face. Young birds take birth control. They’re shagging lots of geezers and having lots of fun! Old ladies don’t need birth control. Take that, menapausie Christy!

However, I think this is one of those moral and ethical dilemmas Sean Penn always yaps on about. I don’t fully support these pills; they set a dangerous precedent. Before G-d or Science Man invented these pills, fatties had two incentives to lose weight. 1) They get less disgusting and geezers want to screw them. 2) They will lose their periods and have better sex not having to worry about babies, which would only make them fat and disgusting again. With this wonder pill, fat people will not try to stop being fat.

On the other hand, it’s nice to see the policy makers finally understand how annoying it is to get a period when you’re in Ibiza shooting in white organza. But anyhow, I’m excited about doing more commercials (maybe they’ll let me talk!).

Toodles!

Kate