I never claimed I played by the book. Two nights ago, as you most likely have heard by now, I was arrested for a DUI.

When they told me the charge, I said I didn’t realize that Dying for the cause of Universal Intelligence was a crime. It’s not, and they clubbed me. But still I WOULDN’T say a word.

OK, here’s the thing: Almost always the heroin addiction from season three doesn’t reappear like the darkest apparition. (You know what they say: heroin is the only thing more addictive than saving the world.)

So CT-vous, what if I wasn’t on heroin, and it was only spirits. Sometimes, when you’re out there saving the world you need to kick back … UNWIND. Have a buttery nipple or 6.

I may be Jack Bauer, but is he not a man. Is he like Hollow Man?