Greetings loyal members of the Workers Party of Korea!  In my capacity as Supreme Film Critic of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea I have made the ultimate sacrifice of sitting through this week's new releases at the Pyongyang Multiplex 14.  Here are my peerlessly excellent reviews to guide your entertainment choices this weekend!

Drillbit Taylor  (3 missiles) 

Owen Wilson is back as Drillbit Taylor, a former US Army Ranger who showers nude in front of passing traffic. This is what the world's so-called greatest military force is reduced to!  Some teenage girls down front were giggling throughout the movie -- I had them arrested and they will spend the rest of their adolescence completing the Guenmgang Mountain Dam. They will regret this flick's PG-13 rating for many years to come!

Snow Angels,  

Some movies are cute, but some are depressing.  This movie is a little of both.  You have a high school marching band playing Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer", one of the greatest rock songs of all time--cute!  Then you have a reformed alcoholic, born-again Christian stalking his ex-wife--that part is depressing.  R rating for profanity, violence and bourgeois sentimentality.

the other Boleyn girl,  

What's with the e.e. cummings punctuation in movie poster?  This is chick flick-frippery from the capitalist consumer-centered economies of the West.  Received a PG-13 rating--can you believe Americans let their kids watch this crapola?  "A classy romantic cocktail" says Owen Gleiberman of Entertainment Weekly.  I puked up this Cosmopolitan-Appletini concoction--save your won for "Wedding Crashers 2".

CJ7,

I liked the funny talking robot dog so much I sat through this one twice!  Had a Slo-Poke caramel sucker and a jumbo popcorn.  An elderly woman crawled under my seat to get the kernels I spit out.  Old people are so selfish, it is better they die than impede the progress of our revolutionary cause!