Blue Man Group’s satirical take on the entertainment and music industry is almost as deft as what my band does, so I figure I’d honor them by being their fourth member. Unfortunately, I ran out of blue halfway.

My agent contacted them, proposing that either they rename themselves ‘Blue Man (and a half-blue Man) Group’, or just hold off until I can find more makeup. You know, I really don’t know how Bjork does it with all that intricate make up. But then again, she’s merely propagating the institutionalized idea(l) that women are incomplete without their makeup on—whereas I’m transgressing cultural premises of gender and aesthetics (at least 50%).

Okay, off to Walgreens to reload on my blue cosmetics. I’m only half the blue man I want to be.