Congratulations Carrie Underwood for getting invited to the Grand Ole Opry. But guess where I got invited? That’s right byetch! I got invited to be in Playboy. But Daddy spoiled all my fun. He sat me down on his lap and said, “Miley, what’s the first rule of being a tween sensation?” and before I could answer he said. “Counteroffer!”

So Mr. Larry Flynt open the checkbook because the bidding war is on. You got to see the back for free; you want to see the front pony up the dough.