The home is full of hidden dangers: knives, faulty locks, husbands. TOILETS. Perhaps the most insidious of all hidden dangers, we are trained to think of the toilet as an ally in expunging waste from our bodies. But TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING -- even fine porcelain -- can be DANGEROUS.

A woman was hospitalized after spending two years in the bathroom -- so much of that time was spent on the TOILET that the seat stuck to her BODY. She stayed in there for so long not because of indigestion, but because she was afraid to leave.

Friends, this is something to be afraid of. I have LONG preached the value of a healthy distrust of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. Like the primitive jungle beasts that we are, we must stay on our toes at all time, lest we allow ourselves or children to be kidnapped and raped and whatnot. But we also need to be afraid of being too afraid of everything, lest we allow ourselves to absorb the toilet seat into our legs.

The woman's boyfriend is being charged with neglect for bringing his wife food and water into the bathroom every day and putting her in this position. And GOOD FOR POLICE. How would this creep like it if HE were the one who wasn't forced to do something?

Among the several hundred thousand things we have to fear is fear itself.