It never ceases to amaze me how your Western media wastes its time on these things. Is Barack Obama a secret Muslim? Is he part of a sleeper cell planning to take over the White House? Does he prefer the Quran to the Bible? Come on you people — wake it up! Could the answer not be more obvious?

YES!

• Muslims cannot play the bowling ball. Obama cannot play the bowling ball.
• Obama enjoys the company of crazy religious leaders.
• Obama enjoys the company of crazy followers.

Obama was the best counselor ever to work at my Afghani Al-Boom Boom Training Camp in summer of 1999. Yes, the summer of the exploding meatballs incident. Who do you think invented the exploding meatballs? (Hint: it was not me)

• This famous 'fist bump' was the usual greeting at Camp Al-Boom Boom. Here you see Obama and my good friend Mahmoud bumping after a particularly delicious cookout.

Where I'm from we have a very old saying:

Tub ig-garra  ala tumaha titla il-bint li-ummaha.

"He who cannot play the bowling ball and learned the fist bump at Camp Al-Boom Boom is truly a secret Muslim planning to take over the White House. Praise Allah."