Now what's all this fussing? Politics? No, I don't imagine I have much time for that.

You want to know my concerns: This god damn clogged kitchen drain. Your bacon grease cools off eventually and then guess what happens? That's right genius, it congeals. That causes blockages, and don't even get me started on the long-term effects that Draino has on the health of your pipes.

Let me ask you something Chester Politician: When you were up there on the stage with all those shiny lights, bickering at each other over who called who what, how many leaks did you fix? How many septic tanks did you install? Don't answer. I think we both know. Probably less than me.

You think you understand our needs, but you are painfully out of touch. You give us your goldfish, your band aids, your sanitary napkins (despite very clearly demarcated signage) and what do you expect? So yes Chester Politician, we are a little cynical that anything will ever change.

Let me put it a way that you can understand. We're fighting two wars: a blocked drain in the kitchen and a leaky shower hose. You have to be across town for another appointment and Missy Housewife is bickering at you for charging a second hour.

The next president will have to face decisions about a third as stressful as that. And you want to tell ME what I need?