Jeez guys. I'm getting my biggest disapproval ratings of all-time over this SNL appearance. Viewers were disappointed that I didn't do any of the heavy comedic lifting, and that there was no Palin-off with Tina Fey. I had some great ideas for the show that got cut:

1. A digital short with Andy Samberg. Aliens invade the planet in the year 2075, then they get mad there aren't enough waffles and kill everyone. Actually, Andy was really excited about this one. He pleaded with me to write more content for him.

2. A reprise of that hilarious night at the Roxbury sketch. In Alaska, I commissioned a 2 million dollar research project that proved definitively that the decline of the show in the early 2000s had a direct correlation with the lack of Roxbury sketches. In this reprisal, Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell approach me at the dance club to hump my leg, but then realize I'm the vice president. They proceed to do funny things like saluting me while humping my leg. Then we go campaigning and they continue to hump me while we stump!

3. Doing the intro with just me on the stump, sprouting off more Obama barbs. Everyone knows my bread and butter is the cheesy Obama roasting and this would have been the return to my roots that could have netted me an HBO special.