Are you familiar with 'Antiques Roadshow?' It's a program where people bring their old junk and collectibles to experts, who tell them what their items are worth. Something like that is just what our souring American economy needs. There are lots of assets out there, most of them sitting there and not attracting hungry investors. The buyout world is full of hungry investors with big funds and the need to put that cash to work. Let's make a deal.

Here at The Blackstone Group, we've got money to spend on buying things, and we'd rather invest it then give it back to our limited partners, because that means we have to give back management fees too, and that wouldn't be good for the U.S. economy.

So let's see your assets! If you have a company, or some real estate assets, or even a big chunk of debt that we foisted onto your balance sheet to help push through one of our own buyouts, you may have already won a Blackstone investment!

Come on down to make a deal with The Steve. If your asset gets chosen, you'll get one hundred free shares of Blackstone Group stock. It's a bargain that can't be beat! My prices are insane!