Well, the tour dirigible is chugging its merry, soy-fueled way across Europe right now. It's good to be out of the US, so I no longer have to worry about catching whatever disease the Americans have that makes them act the way they do.

But not everything is roses and carbon-neutral touring practices here. Today my Egyptian Tai-Chi was interrupted by Ed, who told me that Gene Simmons said our live act was “boring.”

“Gene Simmons?” I said. “You mean, the exercise bloke with the shorts?”

“No, that’s Richard Simmons,” Ed said. “Gene is that guy with the really long tongue and the makeup. He did that song about partying all night or some nonsense.”

“My God, Americans like that sort of thing?” I said. “I’m so glad we’re out of there.”

“I dunno, I liked that reality show he did,” Colin said, walking into the room. “His wife’s quite the looker. By the way, we’re out of donuts.”

“Shut the fuck up Colin,” I said. “You have terrible taste in everything. And I told you, we never had any donuts. Those were just old bagels you put sugar on.”

So with my Tai Chi interrupted anyway, I decided to write a really scathing blog post about yet another aging rock star trying to start a pointless quarrel with me. Then I stopped. See, I’ve prided myself on not doing anything the easy way and challenging myself to be original and, quite simply, I can’t humiliate Gene Simmons more than Gene Simmons already has.

But he does bring up an interesting point about our shows. We tend to just walk on stage, in front of larger crowds than Kiss ever got, and play our music, which is what a musician does. I suppose we could put makeup on and wear outfits that made us look like gay demons and play dreadfully unoriginal music while fireworks go off, but then we wouldn’t be musicians, we’d be huge fucking jokes, wouldn’t we?

And if you think our shows are boring, you’ve clearly never seen me dance. Here’s a sample: