I’m fucking sick of Ron Paul.
I wouldn’t vote for the motherfucker if he promised to give us a happy-ending massage and a new car. I wouldn’t vote for the motherfucker if he gave me a got-damn blow-job in the voting booth. I wouldn’t vote for Ron Paul if the motherfucker shit daisies and ten dollar bills.
You know why I won’t vote for Ron Paul? His supporters are annoying the shit out of me. They’re acting like he’s Tom Joad or some shit. “Wherever Ron Paul’s name is mentioned, I’ll comment. Wherever Ron Paul bombs in the polls, I’ll be there to insist there was fraud. Wherever Ron Paul wipes his ass, I’ll be there to proclaim the toilet paper a sacred got-damn object to be studied and celebrated on Fark.com.”
I ain’t saying we got a good selection of candidates, but I am saying that this Ron Paul cat’s supporters are beginning to freak me the fuck out. I went to a restaurant last night (secret place–I ain’t like those paparazzi pap-smears who make got-damn sure everyone in the world knows when they’re eating at a restaurant), and I had to take a shit. So I excused myself from the table, walked back to the men’s room, picked a stall, dropped my pants, and sat my black ass down on the cold motherfucking porcelain. Relaxed a bit, let it all fall out. Between the first and second shit-package, my ass made a sound not unlike “Ron Paul”. The next thing I knew, there were fifteen Ron Paul supporters outside the got-damn door, gyrating and blogging and commenting on how wonderful my Sam Jack shit was. Now, I know for fact that if I’d farted out a good “Mitt Romney,” wouldn’t nobody have done so much as a golf-clap.
I don’t need no got-damn chorus of “Dr. Paul! Dr. Paul!” while I’m taking a shit, and having four got-damn years of that ain’t something I’m looking forward to.
fdfsdf:
RON PAUL!
1/24/2008 1:47 AMMike:
Ron Paul: Who put these motherfucking snakes on my motherfucking blimp!!!
1/23/2008 2:23 PMpolidics:
Unfortunately -- Bush doesn't blog here, I doubt Sam Jackson does either, maybe none of people listed here do.
1/21/2008 9:22 PMBut it's a great idea and fun.
NobodyCaresAboutPaul:
LOL!
1/21/2008 8:33 PMMortimer Duke:
This is supposed to be a satirical and humorous view of what African-American movie star Samuel Jackson would "stereotypically” when speaking on the issue of Ron Paul...a joke of some kind....However, when my brother Randolph joins in on the joke...and types something also “stereotypical” and “satirical”…he is edited and removed.
Oh how boorish…and yet completely what I would expect from some Liberal trying to be funny….
1/23/2008 8:42 PMAl Sharpton:
Who's Samuel L Jackson?
5/23/2008 3:12 PMD:
This from a person who has more movies than any actor that are just a waste of film. Ok maybe Kurt Russel has more LOL!
You like the smell of your own poop!
Oh and by the way!
STFU!
1/23/2008 2:30 PMwhat:
what kind of idiot actually believed this
"We regret to inform you that none of the above blogs are actually written by their purported authors.
1/23/2008 9:32 PMThe cartoon illustrations are not real photographs either. Please take back your laughter, as that was fake too."
polidics:
ROFL! Sam Jack you can post at my blog anytime. Thats some funny shit you took, however I am kinda surprised that the smell didn't bring more Bill O'Reilly worshipers.
1/21/2008 7:55 PMZen:
That is some funny shit and unfortunately, too true.
1/23/2008 2:07 PMBill:
RP supporters are just so fuckin' defensive whenever anyone says anything bad about their idol. WTF is wrong with them? None of the other candidates' fans engage immediately in personal attacks on others because they don't like their guy. The freaky paulists sound a LOT like scientologists. Wonder if there's a connection there?
1/23/2008 3:17 PMLet me be clear: paul is a fascist little freak who wants to withdraw into "Fortress America", shut the world out and make everyone equal as slaves to his twisted machine. He's a liar, a charlatan and a mountebank; and he's one of the true enemies of the American way of life.
GO SAM!
MJM:
Probably a fake Ron Paul supporter...
1/23/2008 7:11 PMJohanW:
Yes! Vote for a candidate with only tepid support! Bow to the media when they refuse to cover someone, don't try and get the word out yourselves!
There is no one excited about the rest of the candidates because they're corrupt socialist bureaucrats!
Wake the fuck up! If we don't make a serious change in our economic policy right now, we won't have a country left!
1/23/2008 5:43 AMRandolph Duke:
I am a jack ass. Time to go to AnnCoulter.com ...
1/23/2008 8:56 PMWell,:
I cant believe that you somehow got an acting career. I'm glad you read other people's writing for a living because you cant sound smart speaking your mind. Ron Paul is an excellent candidate and I have pride in voting for him. You are just silly to call passionate people out on being passionate about something. You're a flake as an actor and a cocky person with no support behind your arguments.
1/26/2008 3:24 AMJ:
Not surprising. Socialist, out-of-touch, celebs with Tourette Syndrome and Irritable Bowels are just not part of the Ron Paul demographic. Try some more roughage in your diet.
1/23/2008 3:34 PMRusty Shackleferd:
Ahhhaaaaaah Johan, its funny because you think you can change the system. Your a riot.
1/23/2008 1:07 PMAnonymous:
All I have to say is, come get some you black Nigger mother fucker, AR-15 time you shirtless spineless black fucker nigger.
11/27/2008 2:40 PMjenny w.:
So Sam,I asked you before,will you run for the "best job in the world"? I think you are just what we need,no I am sure you ARE JUST WHAT WE NEED!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone who has the nerve to talk crap about someone,at the same time telling us about their our "personal" crap,well what the hell,I KNOW YOU ARE THE PERFECT PERSON FOR THE "PERFECT"JOB,let me know how to work on your team!!!!!!!!! Next time let us know what you think of John Edwards,he is the best looking of all of them,I will give him that much--you think? I like to read your "crap" you make me smile,thats a good thing,THANKS,JENNY W.
1/27/2008 4:39 PMCerebral Paulsie:
Everyone who opposes or mocks Ron Paul is either a neocon or on the take!
This is the rationale of the average Ronbot, with too much emotional investment in a paleoconservative kook who has been pandering to just about every white supremacist organization in the US. Yet you seem to know precious little about your golden man-god.
Ever asked yourself: what of his stance on school prayers, abortion, net neutrality, the gold standard and killing 120,000 mexicans when deporting them all is acceptable? What about abortion? What about abolishing the department of education, NASA, the FDA and other programs? What about the Secure Fence Act? What about leaving NATO and the UN? What about the FISA amendment that legalized warrantless wiretapping of US citizens? What about Paul wanting to amend the constitution to eliminate birthright citizenship? What about his vote (no) on HR 180 to prohibit spending federal tax dollars on companies doing business with genocidal warlords in Darfur? Just fucking google it.
I don't like how Ron Paul supporters seem to think their candidate is the only one being anti-war and pro-Constitution. Yes, he has good points, but he has many, many flaws as well.
1/23/2008 11:51 PMWalter:
Maybe some people missed the top left hand corner that reads "These blogs are not real."
I'm a Ron Paul supporter and I think this is some funny shit mother fucker!
1/23/2008 4:06 PMMJM:
Well: Passion isn't always to be commended. I believe Germany got pretty fired up during the 1930s--they were passionate as hell, but should we not call them out on the results of their passion?
Plus, you don't offer much in the way of support for your own argument--why pick on Sam Jackson for lacking one?
1/26/2008 4:40 PMBill White:
Muthafuckin snakes on da muthafucking plane.
1/22/2008 11:38 PME. Dodge:
Wait... did I just see a Ron Paul supporter with a sense of humor?
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
1/23/2008 6:38 PMJustin:
My God. And I don't even believe in God. Thank you, thank you so God-damned much.
Fuck Romney, Fuck Clinton, Fuck Obama.
Can you guess who I'll vote for?
1/23/2008 5:20 AMKasmel Clark:
What I find amusing is how inflammatory and devisive Ron Paul is as a candidate. For the first time in at least half of a century there is a candidate that not only practices what he preaches, and is consistent in what he believes in, but also demonstrates integrity and a true desire to be a service to the citizens of this nation instead of another cog in the wheel of beauracracy and corporate lobbies. And how does he get treated? As a joke. A meme. People are so wrapped up in the pettiness of getting a laugh by making fun of ardent supporters that they aren't even taking the time to get to know what the candidates believe, let alone what the real issues are that face this country.
I don't agree with everything Ron Paul says, and frankly I don't think that he would be an effective president because he'd be hobbled by a devisive Congress and Judiciary that are all in the pockets of corporate america. But I respect that he has a valid point of view, and real, valid concerns about our nations well-being. And I don't see a single candidate out of the current group that comes close to his record of standing up for what he believes and fighting the status quo. Does that mean that I'm going to engage in a sophomoric flame war with a group of trolls? No. That's a waste of my time and energy. If they're incapable of taking our political system seriously and actually discussing issues like a mature and informed individual, they obviously don't have anything intelligent to add to a political discourse. And that goes for most of the talking heads and pundits out there marginilizing or demeaning Ron Paul's candidacy as well.
1/23/2008 8:23 PM