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Samuel L. Jackson’s Blog

You white people know Obama's black, right?

By Samuel L. Jackson

Bio & Blog

Holy shit. I thought that guy in the Obama video was Omar Epps from “House”. The Black Eyed Pea motherfucker ain’t got no got-damn business looking like Dr. Foreman when I’m jonesing for anything “House”-related in these writer’s-on-motherfucking-strike times.

eppswilliam.jpg

And does the motherfucker think he’s clever with that Will.i.am/Will I am bullshit? Yeah, motherfucker, we get it, now go read some fucking Dr. Seuss and give those two periods to Britney got-damn Spears.

While I’m on the subject of Barack Hussein Obama and his campaign video, I’d like to point something out to all you white people. I don’t know if you motherfuckers have noticed, but Obama’s got some African blood in him. Now, I know his narrow nose and thin lips might be throwing you white people off, since y’all ain’t used to us African-Americans looking diverse and shit, but trust me on this: Barack Obama is of mixed races, and those races ain’t Asian and Samoan, if you know what I’m saying.

What I’m thinking is that all the straight white men ain’t taking a good look at Obama because they’re checking out Scarlett Johansson’s tits, and the gay white men are checking out her absofuckinglutely flawless hair and skin, and most white women–gay or straight–want anyone in the White House besides Hillary, and could give a shit who Scarlett Johansson is.

The reason women don’t like Hillary, by the way, is because the bitch let her husband fuck around for 20 got-damn years, and still calls herself a proud and empowered woman; most other proud and empowered women call a bitch who lets her husband fuck around “doormat.” And who wants a got-damn doormat for a President?

It ain’t no thing to me, but I want you white people to know before y’all do something you’ll regret. I mean, it’s one thing to give the motherfucker the Presidency because of affirmative action (and going by affirmative action, it’s high-got-damn-time we got us a brother in the Oval Office). But you all are about to vote a Black man into office just because Scarlett Johansson says so. And that ain’t right. Y’all need to know the truth.

Anyway. I’m just trying to clear all this shit up. Will.i.am ain’t Omar Epps, and Barack Obama ain’t as white as you white people seem to be thinking.

Now vote your got-damn conscience today, and may the best proud African-American win. And yes, he can, motherfucker.

2/5/2008 3:51 PM, New York
11 comments

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Comments

MJM:

I don't know, nola, I think Samuel's got a point. Hillary Clinton spent the first, what, 35 years of her 'public service' by helping her husband run for president. She's never wielded power in her own right; it's been thru her husband. I think it's insulting that she tries to style herself as an independent woman when, in fact, she's been just as subservient to her man as some impoverished Alabama fundie housewife--she's just louder and meaner.

And she did, in fact, act as a doormat during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. It's not Sam who is disrespecting her body--it's her disrespecting her own.

2/6/2008 2:08 PM

jyl:

While Samuel is certainly entitled to his opinion, I think he was trying to be funny, and I don't think he was referring to Hillary's tits, but Scarlett's...which, yes, is a stupid ass thing to do...but what's even stranger is him blaming Lucas because his acting in Star Wars sucked...the only thing wrong with his death scene is that it should have been the first thing to happen...Jedi he is not. However, I do agree with him that Barack Obama (and yes, we white people KNOW he's multi-racial or "black" or whatthefuckever)... and he may be the greatest man I've ever witnessed in action... Clearly, we all need to emulate him more than we have in the past...what blows my mind is how many black male Hillary supporters there are...I was at the grocery store the other day (wearing my OBAMA buttons) and this black guy says, "Obama, huh?" and I said, "Hell Yeah!" and he said, "Don't you mean Hillary?" and I thought..."are you an IDIOT?!?" and I'm sure my face reflected my thoughts...but I said, "Um... Nooooooooo...I MEAN OBAMA....THAT'S why all 3 of these buttons SAY O-BA-MA"...I slow it down because I can't tell if he's talking to me or my pussy...and for the record, even my pussy KNOWS that Hillary is an evil bitch, and if I were Bill, I'd fuck around too... So then he goes on to tell me that "It's not time for a black man to be president." and at that point, I decided that I must be hallucinating, and that surely these words are coming out of an illiterate toothless white woman with a mullet...but the truth is, it was a black man supporting Hillary...which is just as bad...Now...let's discuss racism, Samuel...

2/8/2008 8:31 PM

nola:

how can you be so disrespectul towards a woman's body, even when she is someone who works in your profession...
i dont think you would like to hear that referring to yor daugther, sister or whatever, i respected your work as an actor and i believed you were different from all the shitty bloggers around, you totally suck now.

2/6/2008 11:02 AM

rudy:

i don't think they realize they're fake...

Some people need to lay off Fox News.

2/11/2008 4:35 AM

rochelle:

um, you guys DO realize that these blogs are NOT REAL, right? because these few comments look
like people are taking it seriously. obviously, it's a parody. it's not really sam jackson. did you see the
other blogs "by obama" and "by mccain"? it's says "these blogs are not real" in the top corner. lol.

2/9/2008 12:17 AM

Matthew :

there are no word to say how Ignorant he sounds

3/18/2008 9:18 AM

Anonymous:

1. Scarlett's hair is fake, not flawless.
2. Obama is a puppet, just like every other mouthpiece for the Ruling Elite. Hence, race is both a smokescreen, and moot, here.
3. Hillary and Bill had better things to do than to give a shit about outmoded patriarchal marital arrangements. They were just playing the marriage game in order to be viable candidates. Hillary stayed patiently in the game until society caught up with the notion of a female president. She is brilliant; although the Clintons, Bushes, McCains, (and even the Obamas) et als. are all part of the Old Guard, and therefore, obsolete now.

6/30/2008 6:06 PM

MJM:

And yet at least half of them were big supporters of DOMA, putting an outmoded patriarchal marital arrangement into law.

7/1/2008 12:02 AM

Anonymous:

p.s. The Will I Am bit is hilarious.

6/30/2008 6:08 PM

Barack Obama:

It's nigger folks. Not nigga.

10/10/2008 9:56 PM

Al Sharpton:

Awww hell no he didnt! Where you is Michael More? Expose this nigga!

I mean nigger.

10/10/2008 10:02 PM