Holy shit. I thought that guy in the Obama video was Omar Epps from “House”. The Black Eyed Pea motherfucker ain’t got no got-damn business looking like Dr. Foreman when I’m jonesing for anything “House”-related in these writer’s-on-motherfucking-strike times.
And does the motherfucker think he’s clever with that Will.i.am/Will I am bullshit? Yeah, motherfucker, we get it, now go read some fucking Dr. Seuss and give those two periods to Britney got-damn Spears.
While I’m on the subject of Barack Hussein Obama and his campaign video, I’d like to point something out to all you white people. I don’t know if you motherfuckers have noticed, but Obama’s got some African blood in him. Now, I know his narrow nose and thin lips might be throwing you white people off, since y’all ain’t used to us African-Americans looking diverse and shit, but trust me on this: Barack Obama is of mixed races, and those races ain’t Asian and Samoan, if you know what I’m saying.
What I’m thinking is that all the straight white men ain’t taking a good look at Obama because they’re checking out Scarlett Johansson’s tits, and the gay white men are checking out her absofuckinglutely flawless hair and skin, and most white women–gay or straight–want anyone in the White House besides Hillary, and could give a shit who Scarlett Johansson is.
The reason women don’t like Hillary, by the way, is because the bitch let her husband fuck around for 20 got-damn years, and still calls herself a proud and empowered woman; most other proud and empowered women call a bitch who lets her husband fuck around “doormat.” And who wants a got-damn doormat for a President?
It ain’t no thing to me, but I want you white people to know before y’all do something you’ll regret. I mean, it’s one thing to give the motherfucker the Presidency because of affirmative action (and going by affirmative action, it’s high-got-damn-time we got us a brother in the Oval Office). But you all are about to vote a Black man into office just because Scarlett Johansson says so. And that ain’t right. Y’all need to know the truth.
Anyway. I’m just trying to clear all this shit up. Will.i.am ain’t Omar Epps, and Barack Obama ain’t as white as you white people seem to be thinking.
Now vote your got-damn conscience today, and may the best proud African-American win. And yes, he can, motherfucker.