I got religion yesterday, praise the motherfucking lord.
Since we’re hitting some hard got-damn times and even Ed McMahon is losing his house, I worry my ass over what to do. But my man Obam has come through again, and is stating his intention to expand Bush’s faith-based programs.
So as of this moment, I’m faith-basing. My faith-base is called ‘The Motherfucking Church of Sam Jack the Endorser’ and my mission is to endorse as many motherfucking checks as I can get from Uncle Sam.
The first edict of the Motherfucking Church of Sam Jack the Endorser is as follows: From this point on, let it be heard from the mountain tops and out of the motherfucking valleys that tax payers ain't called tax payers no more. They are henceforth known as tax prayers, and I need me as many got-damn tax prayers as I can get.
The second edict: My man Obam is a righteous Obam who ain’t got to pretend to be altruistic or shit like that. Lo, during the primaries of infinity, motherfucking Obam did present himself as a virginal anti-politician. But the motherfucking scales have come off his eyes and Obam sees that a motherfucker can only go so got-damn far on virginal altruistic bullshit. The time is at hand for the lord Obam to proclaim his holy damn self a gun-loving, God-fearing, citizen-spying asshole worthy of running a got-damn country that voted for George W. Bush two times in a row.
Now go forth and vote for my man Obam!