I said a few posts back that I was done talking about the Irrelevancy-in-Chief, but the motherfucker keeps talking about himself. Every time he opens his got-damn mouth, Tim Robbins aborts a fetus, an angel drops dead from surprise syphilis, and I have about ten strokes then immediately reach for a got-damn laptop to blog about it because if I don't vent this shit, I'll China Syndrome my ass through the got-damn floor.
So Bush gives an interview about Iraq. Again. It’s like the motherfucker forgets that we elected him to be president of this country, not Iraq. Cause Iraq is all the motherfucker wants to talk about. He didn’t want to open his smirking-ass lips to say nothing about Katrina since it didn't happen in Iraq. He didn’t want to say one got-damn thing about 9/11 unless he could tie that shit to Iraq. He looks like an uncomfortable imbecile whenever he starts talking about our tanking economy because it ain't Iraq's economy. Ask him about America, and he freezes up. But if he's asked to talk about Iraq, he becomes a regular got-damn Cicero or some shit, getting all poetic and philosophical like Aaron Sorkin’s feeding him lines.
Motherfucker could be in a dead fucking sleep, and Barney the dog could make a fart that sounds vaguely like “Iraq,” and Bush would sit up in bed and start puking out a whole mess of “fledgling democracy” this and “liberation” that. Did we elect the dumbass to take care of Iraq? Hell naw we didn't. So why won't he give Iraq a got-damn rest and pay attention to us for a while?
Watch this video. Watch this empty-eyed, brainless fucktwat tell a reporter “So what?” when she points out that there was no got-damn al-Qaeda activity in Iraq til he shoved his limp dick into Iraq and bombed the shit out of everything.
For more years than I can remember, this motherfucker has been making up reasons why we went into Iraq. First it was weapons of mass destruction, then it was to rid the world of a dangerous dictator, then it was to bring democracy to the people of Iraq (apparently by killing as many of them as we could), then it was to keep America safe, and now it’s because al-Qaeda are using Iraq as their last fucking stand. I suppose the next reason will be that both al-Qaeda and Iraq needed to be destroyed so that the letter q can continue to have have a got-damn u after it.
George Bush is like Amy Winehouse’s publicist. Amy didn’t miss her performance because of drugs; "she missed it because of illness." Amy isn’t walking around the got-damn streets of London at 4AM wearing nothing but a tank-top, panties and some nasty-ass looking ballet shoes because she’s fucked up on meth; "she’s doing it because she needs some got-damn bangers and mash." It’s all manufactured bullshit to cover up the fact that we got one big trainwreck on our hands, so wouldn’t you rather talk about bullshit than about how six years blowing shit up in the desert has brought our got-damn country to a got-damn halt?







Carl Icahn:
This shit was funny
12/18/2008 2:39 PMLaura Bush:
Oh Sammy, it's just the mid-life crisis talking. Don't take him too seriously. I'd much prefer he bomb the shit out of a small desert nation and single handedly destroy the American economy than leave me for an 18 year old secretary with a red convertible. Let him have his little Iraq thing. Boys will be boys!
Warmest regards,
Laura
12/18/2008 4:22 PMKatie Couric:
You're a bitch anyway. You don't deserve him.
12/22/2008 5:50 AMGeorge W. Bush:
To be fair, that is because none of them would have me; they tell me they're afraid they might "catch stupid." Also, Sammy, what gives you the idea that I'm uncomfortable in my imbecility?
12/18/2008 5:21 PMKatie Couric:
Your wife is a fucking bitch. Come back to momma. I have the scotch already in bed with me. And don't listen to mean ol' Sammy-Jacks. He is just jealous that he didn't get to me before you did. That and he has been trying to fuck Condy for a while but she only has eyes for your pale, pasty ass. C'est la vie.
12/22/2008 5:53 AMSamuel L. Jackson:
Katie baby, I'll beat the dust off that love box. Forget the Hack and get with the Jack.
12/22/2008 8:56 AM