Golly! Wasn't that something last night? Before this, the biggest crowd I ever spoke to was a crowd of 94 on Inuit Awareness Day (43 if you subtract huskies).
Did you like that barb about how being mayor of Wasila was like being a community organizer except with responsibility. I didn't get into specifics because my record speaks for itself:
- Keeping wolves away from our babies. The previous mayor, Chester Bottomfields, lost 14 babies on his watch. Me? Only 8. That's a 57% reduction I plan on taking to Washington.
- Fighting gentrification from the Anchorage city folk. We resisted the cosmopolitan sway of greater Anchorage with their fancy Sports Authority-bought Crossbows and their modern refrigeration methods.
- Budget management. And we did it while completely abolishing taxes. The entire budget was raised by chili cook-off's and charity kissing booths.
My other zinger was that line about the only difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull was lipstick. Truth be told, there are a few other differences:
- Pit bulls can't comprehend sports, let alone hockey.
- Although rabies runs fairly rampant in both demographics, it's slightly more prevalent in pit bulls.
- Female pit bulls carry themselves with a refinement and grace that hockey moms can't really touch.
Oh and I had one more joke that the speech writers wouldn't let me say last night: My deaf and dumb baby has more executive experience than Barack Obama! Zing!!
Bill O'Reilly:
DO IT LIVE! F***ING THING SUCKS!!
9/4/2008 7:03 PMChimbles.com:
next time when you are on the podium just lift up your shirt!!!
9/5/2008 12:26 AMOsama bin Laden:
correction--that's actually your daughter's deaf and dumb baby. just sayin'.
9/5/2008 12:34 AMChristopher Walken:
That was not wolves, just sayin'. And I don't snatch babies from Washington D.C. as they are generally soulless and soulless babies don't sate my appetite.
9/5/2008 8:54 AMAl Gore:
While I don't agree on any of your politics, and would rather be stuck in McCain's old prison camp (seems to be a good way to get votes) than to hold a conversation with you -- you sure are a V.P.I.L.F.
9/5/2008 10:16 AMjonseyharp:
Ms. palin,
DONT INSULT MY PITBULL. YOU are so beneath her! SHE does NOT leave her young and traipse across the country for her own selfish reasons. She does NOT carry a gun and shoot defense animals, nor does she attack fine people's character just becuase she feels inadequate and lastly, unlike you, she does not need lipstick to look cute.
PS she would NEVER have been seen with rifle and a bathing suit... how tasteless sister IF YOU CANT SHOP you cant run the free world.
9/5/2008 6:39 PMBill Clinton:
What are "defense animals?"
9/8/2008 9:47 AMGeorge W. Bush:
Boobies, boobies, boobies. I love me some boobies. You are just like me, except for those boobies, boobies, boobies. I wish I had me a pair of those boobies. Then I'd be exactly like you. Maybe then John would have picked me to be VP. That would have been awesome, cause I'm not sure I'm completely done fucking up the world or our standing in it. If only I had those boobies.
9/6/2008 7:19 PMDick Cheney:
Don't kid yourself, pal. If you had boobies, you would have never left your room in the Bush family compound.
9/6/2008 8:45 PMR. Kelly:
People of America! This is R. Kelly and I support the election of Gov. Sarah Palin as the next VP. I have many years of experience, and I am here to tell you that she would be the best vice-presidential candidate to pee on. She may be a cold fish from Alaska now, but won't be when I get done with her.
9/7/2008 1:08 PMAngelina Jolie:
Sarah Palin-Angelina Jolie is highly offended that you kill the great Alaskan Caribou for sport.Next time you dangle your deaf, dumb, and partially blind baby in front of a crowd of millions make sure to strap on your baby bjorn first. And might I add that not only am I, Angelina Jolie, star of "A Mighty Heart" an Ambassador from the United Nations-but I adopt an AIDS baby from each continent. In fact, just now I am in the process of adopting a deaf, dumb, blind, crippled, cleft-palate baby from the hills of Indonesia. So suck it.
9/8/2008 7:37 PMSarah Palin:
I'd like to thank all the commenters for their support, you've just been fantastic. Oh, and Barack HUSSEIN Obama is a muslim - which is a kind of pagan... who are going to hell... to burn for eternity... because they don't love Jesus like I do... I'm going to love Jesus for eternity.
9/9/2008 11:58 AMArnold Schwarzenegger:
Sarah Palin...I'm looking for Sarah Palin. She's a very good friend of mine. If she's making a statement right now...I'll be back.
9/15/2008 11:20 PMJohn Mccain:
Drill, baby, Drill!!!
9/19/2008 11:25 AMBritney Spears:
I personally know about pit bulls...but not a hockymom????? whats that
9/19/2008 1:30 PMSamuel L. Jackson:
Got-damn, Brit, are you still able to type? I thought you lost your fingers in a freak crack-pipe accident.
A 'hockey-mom' is a woman who's got a great got-damn idea of where Russia is, but not one got-damn clue of how to keep it from fucking shit up.
9/20/2008 12:55 AMAshley Alexandra Dupre:
I personally know about "Drill baby drill!"
9/29/2008 4:11 PMJohn McCain:
BOMB BOMB BOMB Iran!
9/27/2008 12:20 PMThom Yorke:
hail to the theif 2.
9/28/2008 5:56 PMSamuel L. Jackson:
That's some clever shit, Thom-Yo. You think of that shit yourself?
9/28/2008 5:59 PM