There have been a lot of rumors circulating about me that I'd like to take the opportunity to dispel.

1. I was unsure if Africa is a continent.

First of all I said I was unsure if Africa is a continent. Semantics people! That means I'm not ruling it out that it is a continent. I mean is anyone sure any place actually exists unless they've physically been there? Maybe it was invented on a map just to mess with you.

And Africa should just be one country. All those silly names. Who can remember them? It's a 5th grade geography student's worst nightmare. Zoombeewala. Tuganda. I mean even I know those borders are arbitrary divisions from the last century and a half of European colonialism.

2. I answered the door for McCain aides wrapped in a towel.

Is there a problem here? I had a feeling everyone on McCain's team swung the other way. Next time I'll have Todd answer the door in just his moose skin thong.

3. My family and I are "Wasilla Hillbillies"

On the contrary, the Palin clan is very cultured. We visit museums (Ripley's Believe It or Not and Wax), go to the theater (what Todd calls Tractor Pulls) and feed at a table.