Can you believe that a group of investors has the audacity to sue The Blackstone Group? Yes, it’s true. I’m not making that up.

Perhaps the plaintiff, Landmen Partners, is suffering from some kind of envy. After all, I don’t remember anyone from that outfit being profiled in The New Yorker.

The lawsuit says we did something wrong in not disclosing a lot of important information about our investments, particularly about Financial Guaranty Insurance. Because of that and other investments -- like Freescale Semiconductor -- we’ve been hit hard with some earnings losses (89% to be exact).

But so what? Of course we don’t disclose important information. This is PRIVATE equity. That means we keep important information private, duh!

Also, an 89% drop in earnings is no reason to panic (we were aiming for 69%—private joke). It just means our earnings later are going to be that much better. This is the time to invest even more money with Blackstone in one of our many diverse side funds.

A company wouldn’t be named Financial Guaranty Insurance unless they could insure a financial guarantee for investors like Blackstone. You’ve got to trust us with your money. That’s the whole point of this thing. You invest in our funds and we return more money to you. You don’t ask any questions and nobody hurts anyone’s feelings.

Besides, things are fine. Our investment just requires a little time horizon adjustment. Once we do a few more add-on acquisitions, change the name, and take a few more dividends for ourselves, we’ll be able to sell Financial Guaranty for a profit during the next buyout boom, which we expect to be sometime around 2077.

Think long term.