On Monday, a jury convicted me on seven felony counts of fraud and making false statements.  The whole thing has been one big misunderstanding from the get go.

I was signing off on a bunch of congressional bills that would help poor people, give food to underprivileged children, and provide first aid to injured kittens, when someone must have slipped a $250,000 check in the mix.  I accidentally endorsed it, cashed it, and spent the money on fishing boat (well to be technical, it was an anti-overfishing boat to patrol fishermen who surpass their quotas. I like to do that in my spare time. We all have our quirky hobbies!)