Well the folks at Google have gone and launched YouTube local language sites. Now people in nine different countries will be able to upload videos of cats falling asleep and drunken frat boys setting their dicks on fire and all in the comfort of their own language. I thought “idiot” was understood internationally. I don’t get this user generated content craze. Seems to me 90% of it is garbage. When I started TBS, I didn’t just open the door and hire the first 200 people that walked through who could shit and say hello. I hired professionals!

This just in … Holy crip crap! I got a gator in my backyard! Well, its not exactly my backyard, it’s in the Chattahoochee River running through Atlanta. And I own Atlanta, so same difference. Some asshole must have bought it as a pet and then realized that alligators don’t make good pets. Some people are dumber than female condoms. Those are messy and awkward … who wants that?

I saw on my news channel today that apparently cockroaches can learn like dogs and humans do. Great gravy! To do this, they have to have the ability to memorize and learn. Well I hope that they learn to stay out of my underwear drawer. Can you imagine waking up and putting on a pair of briefs only to discover that you have a roach in your Fruit of the Looms! Not today! Not on my watch! Now, someone kill me a moose because I am hungry. I am Ted Turner damn it!