By now, everyone knows the earth is in trouble, even people who live in caves and the President of the United States. And no matter who you are, the world’s transformation into an unlivable wasteland has to be at the top of your list of problems. For instance, if you’re a football fan, whether or not Liverpool FC signs a decent midfielder is less important than whether Liverpool itself is lying under several feet of water, which would utterly ruin any chance they have at the Premier League title.

The leaders of the most powerful countries in the world just got together in Japan to discuss the environment. You might expect them to spend their days and nights working tirelessly to pass laws restricting gasoline consumption and make immediate, sweeping changes to the way the citizens of the developed world live. What they actually did, after flying in on individual carbon-burning jets, shaking hands with one another several times and visiting the local bondage fetish clubs, was to sign a treaty promising vaguely to cut carbon emissions in half by 2050.

The whole thing sounds like a smoker promising to quit after he finishes the pack. I’d speak out against it, but the treaty’s already been denounced by environmentalists, scientists, NGOs, and the Chinese, and I hate joining crowds.  

Instead of signing worthless treaties, we at Radiohead actually did something and switched to LED lights on our tour. This saved about 1400 amps of electricity, which may stave off the end of the world by four seconds or so. Our job isn’t to save the environment—that’s what the G8 conference was supposed to be for. World leaders, let's clear something up: your job is to make sure humanity doesn't muck up the planet, and my job is to write cheery pop songs praising your names. Got it?

Apparently they aren't reading the blog, so I’ll continue to write moody, darkly atmospheric alt-rock about how the world is slowly sliding into utter despair and an environmental apocalypse. Have a great weekend.