I don’t know much about the technical arguments for and against taxing the carried interest of private equity and venture capital professionals, but I do know two facts. 1) Taxing Carried Interest Makes Baby Jesus Cry. It’s just a fact. I’ve read the Bible (both Old and New Testaments) and it’s indisputable. Jesus said it himself. There’s an entire psalm about it. Check it if you don’t believe me. 2) A vote for tax on carried interest is a vote for Communism. If forcibly redistributing wealth by such drastic measures wouldn’t bring a smile to Karl Marx, V.I. Lenin, and Ralph Nader’s faces, then I don’t know what would. For instance, my fellow blogger Vladimir Putin wrote me an email this morning saying how much enjoys taxing carried interest.

However, Baby Jesus along with the NVCA (National Venture Capital Association) did tell me about one interesting caveat (stated here). It’s perfectly acceptable to tax Stephen Schwarzman (sorry Steve) and his fee-mongering, PIK-toggling, LBO and hedge fund brethern, but not the risk-taking, job-creating, Baby Jesus-lovin’ venture capital industry. And the NVCA and I are not saying this just because the LBO and hedge fund guys came up with a better business model than we did. Definitely not the motivation. Nope. It’s not jealousy. No jealousy here. Just the other day, Baby Jesus was telling me how Steve’s $3 million 60th birthday party kept him up all night crying with terrible gas and the colic.