My friends, I think this is the most incredible news story I have ever read. Caution: As you read this, you may obtain an erection. I certainly did.

Yves Rossy, a man in Switzerland, has designed a hang-glider rocket that shoots him through the sky.  He has essentially become a flying demon wreaking havoc from the air.

On a recent display, Rossy tipped his wings flipped onto his back and leveled out again, executing a perfect 360-degree roll. After executing that awesome maneuver, he told the press, “That was to impress the girls.” He impressed the girls and also this Putin.  (Again, I am implying that I had an erection.)   

I am inviting Yves Rossy to Russia where we will meet in the presidential office to discuss this new technology. I will send Medvedev out to the lobby, and he can color until our business is complete. (Medvedev always asks me if he can hang his drawings on the wall near the desk. I say yes, but when he puts them up I grab them and rip them in half. I do it because I find the sad look in his eyes so amusing.)

My only concern is the lack of violent weapons attached to the wings of the flying glider. Perhaps Rossy can attach poison darts or exploding pumpkins. What’s the point of flying through the air if you can’t terrorize those below you?

-- Putin Out!

(Photo credit: Associated Press)