My blog friends,

Russia was in talks with Google to let them purchase one of our Russian telemedia companies. This would have let Google operate within our superpower country.

Things were going well at first, but then I found out some information, and I had to kill that deal. I didn’t just kill it. I executed it, KGB style. (minus the raping part)

It wasn’t because I didn’t want an Ameican company taking over the Russian market, as has been reported. No I would have let Google take over the market share.  

I demanded a share of the profits. After all, I deserve it. I recently learned that everyday there are billions of people searching for my name. They are looking to see what a powerful, sexy world leader like me is up to. These are consistently in the top five buzz searches each and every day:

• Putin topless
• Putin shirtless
• Putin luscious nipples

Just last week "Putin Fights Velociraptor" took up 46% of the searches performed on the search engine spurred on by rumors that I had brought a velociraptor back from extinction just to kill it in a no holds barred mixed martial arts match. Google is gaining a tremendous amount of advertising revenue from my popularity, yet they refuse to cut me in on any of the profits. I encourage all of you to use Altavista to search for images of me without my shirt or to find out news on what country I’m invading next. Hint: It rhymes with Dukraine.