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Vladimir Putin’s Blog

Russia sails ship up US rectum

By Vladimir Putin

Bio & Blog

Maybe you heard, Russia just told the US to stick it.

No, I didn't crush one of their ambassadors with a KGB head clap or launch a judo attack on one of their allies. I didn't even need to take my shirt off to send this message out to the world. I'm simply going to send a Russian ship up the Panama Canal sending a strong signal to America. A very powerful signal.

 
 

Imagine, if you will, that the Panama Canal is America's rectum. And Russia just sailed a ship right up it! Oh yeah!

Or if the Panama Canal was America's throat, then Russia just crammed our fist down it!

Or If the Panama Canal was America's nose, or more accurately, one of it's nostrils, well then Russia slammed our finger deep inside it.

Or maybe if the Panama Canal is the US goal during a basketball game and Russia has the ball, which is our ship. America is trying to stop us from scoring, but we are bouncing the ball and running around and throwing the ball - I sort of don't understand the rules of American basketball, but basically we score on the US and then start kicking their players in the groin, and the Russian team is laughing and high fiving each other. I'm not sure if that analogy worked.

How about if the Panama Canal is America's throat and then Russia just crammed a huge ball that is used to play basketball down its throat! Oh yeah!!!

So suck on it America. You suck! We're sailing a warship right up your precious canal, and there is nothing you can do about it.

- Putin Out!

 

12/4/2008 10:33 PM, Moscow
8 comments

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Comments

Vlad about you:

Vladdy, I'm shocked you haven't written about the Russian people's obvious desire to make you Supreme Ruler For Life.

Personally, I think you're doing them a disservice by waiting until 2012 to take the presidency again. Although I have to commend your self-control. Most would be on the presidency like a fat kid on a beanbag chair.

12/5/2008 4:15 PM

Vlad about you:

Vladdy, I'm shocked you haven't written about the Russian people's obvious desire to make you Supreme Ruler For Life.

Personally, I think you're doing them a disservice by waiting until 2012 to take the presidency again. Although I have to commend your self-control. Most would be on the presidency like a fat kid on a beanbag chair.

12/5/2008 4:17 PM

Oprah Winfrey:

You must have a hot wife!!!!

1/9/2009 2:10 PM

Sarah Palin:

Before you can do that, you'll have to come through Alaska, and we'll be watchin' ya!

1/9/2009 5:31 PM

Amy Winehouse:

Vladdy, you can have MY canal if you'll give me a jug of Night Train!

1/9/2009 5:34 PM

Arnold Schwarzenegger:

Hear me now and believe me later. You are a little girly-man and if you sail a ship up kal-ee-for-nya's rectum, I will give you a severe pummeling.

1/9/2009 9:48 PM

Lali:

Vlad, chill. I've already taken care of that!

2/7/2009 4:56 AM

Vladimir Putin:

Bunaziua domnule Putin.
Sunt o tanara din Romania si doresc sa va transmit ca va admir inteligenta, fermitatea si caracterul dumnavoastra. Mi-as dori enorm de mult o intalnire pentru discutii pe teme interesante cu dumneavoastra.
Va multumesc.

3/10/2009 7:47 AM